The Rules for Calling In Sick

"Today is disgusting. When I woke up in my warm bed this morning I thought, "I am definitely calling in sick." But here I am. Why? Because it would violate the rules for getting away with this sort of thing.
Let's get one thing straight: everyone calls in sick to work when they're not really sick. Whether it's from laziness, hangover, weather-related malaise, or just something you'd rather be doing than sitting at a blue carpet-lined cube for eight hours pretending to work while you surf the internet, everyone has fudged an illness for a "mental health day." This is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, but it's still frowned upon by your boss, that uptight prig in HR, and that scary lady in accounting who hasn't missed a day in 23 years. That's why we've come up with a set of rules to help you get away with selecting your "sick" day. May you enjoy it in good health.
Mondays and Fridays Are Off Limits: This is why we didn't call in today. Since both days abut the weekend, you're sending red flags by making the call to freedom on either day. Friday it seems like you're trying to get out of town early to go away, and on Monday it looks you partied too hard over the weekend and need an extra day to recover. You already have a reputation for being a booze hound thanks to your disgraceful behavior at the office Christmas party, so calling in on a Monday is just going to make you look like a full-fledged alcoholic.
Don't Ever Say You Have Food Poisoning: "Food poisoning" is to office call-outs as "exhaustion" is to celebrity break downs. Everyone says they feel bad for you, but they don't buy it for a second. The downfall of food poisoning is that it really is the perfect excuse because it is random, short-lived, and everyone who eats Chinese food gets it eventually. That's why the "some undercooked chicken" line has been used to death. Instead, go for strep throat. It comes on just as quickly and it's contagious so you can use the "I'm going to the doctor today, but i don't want to get anyone else sick" approach. Of course, when you get back to work, it was just a cold. And, yes, ladies, if you have a male supervisor the "time of the month" trick still works.
Wait for the Second Nice Day: When we finally reach spring, there is going to be that first day when it's 65 degrees, the sun is shining, and everyone wants to put on their shorts and take a day off. Don't you dare! Calling in on this day is as obvious as Ted Danson's toupee. A bunch of suckers are going to do it anyway, and then you can give them the stink eye and feel superior at the office. Don't worry, there will be another 65-degree day, and once everyone has gotten it out of their system you'll be able to work on your tan without an ounce of guilt—or crowds at the park.
Use a Big Meeting as Cover: Well, not a career-changing meeting that you're running, of course, but a big meeting that you should attend but don't really want to. That way when you have "kidney stones" (yeah, you're going to have to pull out the big guns for this to work) no one is going to think you're faking, because if you're going to miss the meeting, then you must really be ill.
Don't Waste It on Snow Days: When the weather is really nasty, the first response is to behave like an eight-year-old, declare a snow day, and spend all day watching The Price Is Right and sledding in the back yard. This is a waste. Instead, use another grammar school trick and take a "90-minute delay." Call with some drama about how your road isn't plowed yet and take your time getting in. Once you're there, you'll look like a real trouper for braving the elements to get to work. Then, at the office, everyone is going to be so thrown off by the snow that no real work is going to get done anyway. Kick off your galoshes, and put your feet up. Yeah, you had to go in, but you didn't have to do shit.
When the Boss Is Away: This gambit could go either way. When your boss is on vacation is really the ideal time to take a day off. He's not there to catch you, and little work is getting done. However, there is little work getting done, so why take the day off? Also, if something drastic does happen and you're not there, then this could really blow up in your face. Rather than actually calling in sick, make this a "work from home" day. Yeah, we all know that "work from home" really means loosely monitoring your Blackberry for a catastrophe while inviting over dates from Craigslist, but no one is going to blame you while the fat cat is away.
 
Never, Ever Use a Sick Day When You're Actually Sick: Your sick days are five windows of unexpected freedom from the dim dungeon that is your professional career. They should be used for couch lounging, pool swimming, bike riding, and general merriment making, not actually holed up with the fever and the sniffles. Sure, if you get the Swine Flu or something truly debilitating, you're going to have to stay at home, but otherwise just work through it. You're already miserable, you might as well double up and be miserable at work. Save your sick days for when you can enjoy them!"

From:  http://gawker.com/5456497/the-rules-for-calling-in-sick

70% of Employers Have Rejected Applicants Over Online Info

"We know you've probably had the date circled on your calendar for months now, but, in case you needed reminding, today is the 4th annual Data Privacy Day. The Microsoft-sponsored non-holiday was created exclusively to raise the public's awareness of major online privacy issues. And to commemorate this most cautious of days, Microsoft has released the results from a recent study that show just how negligent we are when it comes to managing our online image -- and how seriously that kind of negligence can hamper our chances of landing a job.

In a survey of Web-surfers, human resource workers, and employment recruiters across the U.S., U.K., Germany and France, researchers found that, although most people acknowledge that their personal online behavior may have ramifications in their professional lives, comparatively few actually consider that fact when publishing photos or posts online. A full 70-percent of surveyed HR workers in the U.S. admitted to rejecting a job applicant because of his or her Internet behavior. Meanwhile, about 60-percent of surfers admit to being concerned that their online behavior may affect their professional or personal lives. A mere 15-percent of them, though, actually take these potential repercussions into consideration when posting content.

By the same token, digital reputation can also have an equally positive effect on an applicant's chances; 86-percent of U.S. HR workers said that a good online reputation can have a positive impact on a job candidate's chances -- and about half said that a solid image can have a major impact. It's this positive spin that Microsoft's Peter Cullen wants readers to take away from the study, saying that "online reputation is not something to be scared of; it's something to be proactively managed." He urges the regular Web-user to cultivate "the online reputation that you would want an employer" to see.

In an ideal world, of course, your personal life would be impermeably separated from your professional existence. As we all know -- and as this study plainly shows -- that's just not the case anymore. We wouldn't recommend turning your Facebook profile into some saccharine rendition of a cover letter, though, as overt self-promotion is probably as much of a professional turn-off as those pics of you taking Jell-O shots freshman year. But just be aware that your online character is as much a part of your CV as your off-line character. It sucks, but it's reality. [From: Microsoft]"

From: www.switched.com


Most of this is common sense...no? Apparently not. So, what's the lesson to be learned? For starters, if you have any type of social networking profiles, set them to private!  Another good idea is to have a separate email address that you only use for business and/or job hunting. By doing this you will make it harder for snooping employers or prospective employers to find you online. Honestly people, it's not all that hard or time consuming to do! Last but not least, what should you say if your current employer or a prospective employer asks you if you have a social networking profile? NO!